pasta.

ok so. i made pasta. rahul cooks, chapt 2.

context. i can code. i can run 50km. i can write a blog post in 30 minutes. apparently i cannot chop. cooking has revealed to me that my hand-eye coordination is the worst part of my body. i took THIRTY MINUTES to chop 2 onions, 1 tomato, and a handful of cloves of garlic. i’m not exaggerating. some restaurants do plating in less time. some people sleep, wake up, brush, and reach office in less time than i took to deal with one onion.

the person who’s been bullying me into cooking sent me a 2 minute 37 second voice note at midnight explaining how to make a pasta. and here’s how it played out. i chopped everything, then had to jump on an important work call, by the time i got back she was already asleep. so it was just me, the pan, and the voice note on loop.

this is the recipe.

ingredients (rough, vibe-based)

• 2 tomatoes (more if smaller)
• 1 onion
• a few cloves of garlic
• tomato puree
• jarred pasta sauce
• butter
• cheese (a lot. this is the creaminess lever, not cream.)
• oregano, chilli flakes, salt, pepper
• pasta of your choice, boiled
• oil

the recipe

1. chop the tomatoes. big pieces, small pieces, doesn’t matter. just don’t be like me and spend 30 minutes on this part. literally just chop.
2. pan + oil. heat it up.
3. add garlic + onions. sauté well.
4. add the chopped tomatoes. sauté some more.
5. add salt and a little extra oil so the tomatoes don’t go mushy.
6. ~2 tomatoes is enough. if it looks less, add more, or you can top up with tomato puree later.
7. once well sautéed, add tomato puree.

   NOT pizza sauce. NOT pasta sauce. TOMATO PUREE. very firm on this. don’t try to be smart. don’t substitute. don’t say “but they all look red.” they have different jobs.

8. sauté till it leaves a bit of colour.
9. take off heat. let it cool under the fan.
10. grind it in a mixer.
    • don’t overfill the jar.
    • if one round isn’t silky, grind twice. “silky smooth sauce banegi.”
    • do not skip this step. i did. you will regret it. i will explain.
    • bonus context. i didn’t have a mixer that day. i just used a steel glass and went mash mash mash. it works in a pinch but it is not the same. get a mixer.
11. back into the pan. add:
    • butter
    • oregano
    • chilli flakes
    • salt + pepper
    • any other spices you like
12. add cheese.
13. NOW add the pasta sauce (the jarred one). go slow. start small, mix, taste karke dekh, adjust.
14. not creamy enough? add more cheese. silky smooth.
15. add the boiled pasta.
16. done. ✅

the rules nobody states but i had to learn the hard way

• grind it. this is the step that separates aunty-pasta from restaurant-pasta. silky > chunky.
• cheese is the creaminess lever. not cream. cheese.
• taste karke dekh. at every stage.
• jitna kitchen prepped rakhoge cooking ke liye, utna easy cook hota hai.

what actually happened when i made this

ok confession time.

i did everything except grind the tomatoes. just casually skipped step 10. didn’t realize how load-bearing that step was. result: lumpy, chunky, definitely-aunty-pasta. then i panicked and added extra butter + extra sauce to fake a creamy texture. it kinda worked. it kinda didn’t. and on top of that i boiled too much pasta so the sauce-to-pasta ratio was completely off.

future me, here’s the lesson: GRIND THE TOMATOES. don’t skip step 10. don’t boil too much pasta. sauce-to-pasta is a real ratio that matters.

yea looks dry. i kinda like it this way honestly. but it needs a lil more creamy texture.

this is what it looks like when you actually grind the tomatoes in the mixer. silky. creamy. that’s the level we’re aiming for.

instagram channels for absolute beginners

these were prescribed to me. passing on the prescription.

• @chitwangarg
• @fit.khurana
• @krishbhatia__

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going to make this again tonight. grinding the tomatoes. no shortcuts.

if my chopping clocks under 15 minutes i’ll consider that a personal win and i’ll write about it.

so guys. this is definitely not…

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jai bajrangbali.